Star Warped
by Straightjackets-R-Us
Summary: What happens when the Fellowship end up trapped in the Star Wars Universe with two Jedi trying to find them? Two words. Utter Chaos! *COMPLETE!* (v. bad ending though n.~)
1. Opening Credits

Star Warped  
  
Disclaimer: Ok, I don't own any of the characters (I wish I owned one but we won't go into that…) and I don't own anything that might seem familiar! Ok? OK!  
  
A/N: Hi. This story was started out of pure boredom over the summer. Don't flame me to bad. Its my first crossover fic. Oh, and I apologize for any spelling errors in advance. THANK YOU!  
  
Chapter 1- Opening Credits  
  
*little blue words flash*  
  
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…  
  
*Star Wars Theme plays*  
  
STAR WARPED  
  
Episode II²  
  
Another Meaningless Story  
  
After the Jedi's exploits on Geonosis, more trouble is brewing on the planet of Coruscant, but of a different kind. Nine mysterious travelers have been discovered wandering around the planet and causing trouble. These travelers are believed, by some, to be spies and/or assistants to the Separatists.  
  
The Senate has decided to hunt out these miscreants and question them. Two Jedi, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker have been assigned to this task. But they must be ever careful, for no one, not even Yoda, can see if the claims made by the Senators are true or false.  
  
Meanwhile, on Naboo, Padmè Amidala waits for Anakin to return to her and his new home. She stays patiently there while her husband travels far away, pondering what will happen when these travelers are found. Will the capture of these people be the breaking point between the Republic and the Separatists…  
  
  
  
*Little words fade out. A large transport ship is seen moving toward the planet of Coruscant*  
  
"I don't see why we have to go back to Coruscant so soon Master. Couldn't we have stayed on Naboo just a little bit longer?" Anakin asked. "The Jedi Council needs our help, my young apprentice, and we cannot disobey them." Obi-Wan replied. His padawan rose quickly from his seat and went to socialize with some of the other passengers. It was obvious he was frustrated with his master's decision to go to Coruscant. The aging Jedi Master leaned back in his seat, he wasn't able to get comfortable, something was troubling him. Something about the reason he was being brought back to Coruscant. His eyes closed and his brow furrowed as he retreated deeply into his thoughts. However, his apprentice seemed to have no worries, or at least he wasn't showing it. He was currently occupied in a game of logic with another passenger. Obi-Wan chuckled to himself as Anakin made a foolish move, not analyzing the situation before making his move.  
  
The engines began to slow as they began to descend upon the planet that was all one city. He gazed absent-mindedly out of his window and for a brief moment, he could have sworn he saw some weirdo wearing tights and shiny golden hair that almost touched his waist. Obi-Wan blinked and rubbed his eyes, almost positive that he was going crazy. But when he looked back in the direction where the man stood, there was nothing there but the empty, gray top of a skyscraper. 'The altitude must be getting to me,' he thought to himself as the ship slowed and hovered about five feet off the ground before lowering itself onto the paved landing pad.  
  
A familiar scene met the eyes of the Jedi as they stepped of the transport, tall buildings as far as the eye could see, surrounded by thousands of hover-cars and speeders zooming past in the streets. To top it all off, there was Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, smiling at them from the other side of the landing platform. His hair was thinner since the last time they saw him and it seemed as if he had had an accident with his makeup, because his face was almost totally white and he had dark circles under his eyes. Yet he was smiling all the same. Obi-Wan felt Anakin's surprise when he saw the Chancellor and shot him a warning glance. "Greetings Master Kenobi and my dear young Skywalker." He said when they were in earshot. Obi-Wan and Anakin bowed politely in reply. "I suppose you are here to report to the Jedi Council." Obi-Wan nodded. Anakin trailed behind them slowly. "Yes," Palpatine said, "There have been quite a few problems here since you left for Geonosis." They continued their chatter as Anakin followed. None of this really concerned him, so he started daydreaming. A song started running through his head, one that he had heard before, although it seemed unfamiliar to him.  
  
Guess who's Back.  
  
Back again  
  
Shady's back,  
  
Tell a friend!  
  
Guess who's back!  
  
Guess who's back!  
  
Guess who's back!  
  
  
  
The song was driven from his mind as he ran into a large pole in the interior of the building. He stammered backwards, holding his head. For a moment, he saw strange images dart in front of him. Small people with hairy feet, a man older than him wearing tights, two people who hadn't bathed in years and a guy with a large gray beard wearing a really spiffy hat. "Anakin!" The voice of his master brought him painfully back to his senses. Obi-Wan was staring at him in disbelief and Palpatine was watching him over Obi-Wan's shoulder. He felt his face flush red as he stood up and followed the two older men out onto another landing platform where Obi-Wan and he climbed into a small speeder. A moment later they were on their way to the Jedi Temple, where they would receive their next assignment.  
  
~*~  
  
A/N: So? Did you like it? I hope you did. This chapter didn't have that much humor in it, but I didn't want this story to seem really stupid and have Anakin act high and start doing cartwheels or anything. There will probably be more humor in the next chapter, considering all the things that I could have them encounter while looking for the 'mysterious travelers.' I hope that yall at least have a little bit of an idea of who they are, if not, then I'm sorry. If I gave yall anymore hints I'd have to flat-out tell you who they were. Anyway, this first chapter was really short, but the next one will be longer! Tell me what you think of it! I don't really like flames, and as put by another fanfic writer, "All flames will be extinguished with a very small squirtgun" 


	2. A Whole New World

Star Warped  
  
Episode II²  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Ok, I'm back…again. I don't own anything except for a TV and a bunch of movies. As for this story, I own nothing, nada, capiesh?  
  
A/N: Hi again peoples. Ok, the first chapter sucked. But hey! All First chapters suck. Anywho, once again, I'm sitting in front of my computer typing in my PJ's at 3 in the afternoon. Oh well. I hope you're enjoying my story! Oh, and Don't Kick My Dog, I'll try and include a pretty-boy fight. n.n  
  
Chapter 2- A Whole New World  
  
Frodo looked around, dazed and confused. He and the other members of the fellowship were quite lost. The last thing they remembered was that Gandalf was about to fight the Barlog in Moria. Frodo's eyes skimmed the heads of his companions to make sure that they were all here. Three heads full of curls, Merry, Pippin, and Sam were there. Three tangled messes, Aragorn, Boromir, and Gimli, were here. And finally, a blinding head of blonde and the tip of a blue hat, Legolas and Gandalf were there. "But how did we get here?" Frodo thought out loud. "Where is here?" Boromir asked. "Where is where??" Pippin asked. "No," Boromir said, "Where is here." "Where is HERE!" Pippin exclaimed, "Where? Where is Here? I don't see him anywhere?" The fellowship watched them for a moment before a large speeder headed straight for them rudely interrupted their fun. Frodo screamed like a girl and lay flat on the ground, the others followed suit. The driver shook his fist at them and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" before speeding away.  
  
When they had recovered from the initial shock of the speeder incident, Aragorn, being the leader, suggested the brilliant idea that they find out where they were. Boromir stepped forward, "Hey! Who elected you leader of this outfit?!" he said. "Ever since we've followed you, all we've gotten was trouble!" "Well, I figured it should be the one capable of abstract thought, but if that's not the case, then heck! Let's put it to a vote!" Aragorn replied. "Well I'm voting for yours truly!" Boromir snapped. "Well, I'm voting for 'yours truly' too!" They all looked to Frodo. "Well," he said, "I'm with you fellas."  
  
The argument went on for some time, but was stopped by the voice of reason, Gandalf. They all decided that they really did need to know where they were before they did anything else. So, they all stopped bickering and took a good look at their surroundings for the first time. They were high, VERY high, higher than any of them had ever been before, except maybe Gandalf. (Double meaning! n.~) They were standing outside on a large gray platform made out of hard metal. They saw a door leading into a large building to their left. Then they noticed the large starship that was about to land on the platform. They decided to run inside, it was to dangerous outdoors.  
  
When they were in the building, they found that it had one large, round, major chamber full of little floating platforms. They found an empty one and decided to wait there until they decided what to do next. Suddenly, they became aware of several other people, and things, in the room as well. As always, Pippin got bored and started playing with little buttons at the front of the platform. It began to move, slowly at first, and then faster towards the center of the room where an old man was seated. The man looked up, and in a raspy voice said, "The council has not recognized the chair from Nebula." Talking suddenly erupted in the room, cries of disbelief and of anger. Another platform came forward. One of the people on it spoke loudly so that everyone in the room could hear, "Fellow senators! The chair from Nebula has been recognized, but they are part of the separatist movement! We cannot trust what they say! It can only be lies!" More cheers erupted with these words. Aragorn shot Pippin a dirty look, "Try and figure out how to get us off of this thing!" Aragorn whispered urgently. Pippin nodded and began to fiddle with the controls again. Frodo suddenly jumped and started screaming the something touched him. "Pippin! What'd you do!" He screeched. Sam, who was standing next to him, had an evil grin on his face. Pippin started to protest, but Aragorn kicked him to keep his mouth shut. The platform started to move in reverse, but Pippin stared at it in alarm. "I didn't do it!" he said. "Of course you didn't" said a voice from behind him. "I did." He turned around and saw his cousin Merry, smiling as usual. "But…but…I wanted to be the hero!" Pippin said. "If we had to count on you to save us, we'd all be doomed." Merry replied. As the platform clicked into place on a small platform, a door opened, revealing two men with blasters. "Ok, all of you, hands on your head! And no silly stuff!" Frodo looked to Boromir, Boromir looked to Aragorn, Aragorn looked to Gandalf, Gandalf said simply, "RUN!" With that, Legolas whipped out his bow and shot to arrows at the guards, killing them instantly. This caused much commotion in the vast hall, the old man was banging a small hammer on his desk calling for order. "What an odd fellow…" Pippin said as they raced down the hall. "Look who's talking!" Merry called from behind.  
  
~*~  
  
A/N: Yes I know, another short chapter. SORRY! Well anyway, The next one will be the one where Obi and Ani meet the fellowship. (Hopefully I'll get some good ideas!) Please R&R! Thank you! n.n 


	3. When Obi Met Sammy

Star Warped  
  
A/N: Ok, some people were confused at the last chapter. This is a crossover story. I take characters from two stories and put them together. This particular story is a Star Wars and Lord of the Rings Crossover. So there are characters from both movies. A note about the last chapter, do you know how hard I tried to resist putting the song 'A Whole New World' from Aladdin in there?! I try not to be corny…oh well. It probably woulda scared the crud outta anyone who read it. As for the way I keep switching POVs, that's how the Star Wars stories are written, they have two story lines going at once. Sorry for the confusion! If you don't understand the title of the chapter, I'm sorry. It's 'When Harry Met Sally' with different words. n.~ Sad uneducated youth…  
  
Chapter 3- When Obi met Sammy  
  
As Obi-Wan and Anakin stood in the large circular room, they felt the large eyes of Yoda staring hard at them. Anakin wondered how often the Jedi Master got a face-lift, he had to do it about every 100 years to keep up with those wrinkles. He cringed. "Something wrong is there, with you young Skywalker?" Said the little green Jedi that was seated on a tiny bean bag-like chair. Anakin shook his head, "No master Yoda." Yoda gave him an inquisitive glance before turning back to Obi-Wan. "Master Kenobi," he began. "Many difficulties, the Republic is faced with. Nine intruders, there are." Mace Windu, another highly respected Jedi master, interrupted Yoda in fear that the small master's interpretation of the events might take three days to tell. "Nine people interrupted the Senate's meeting today," he said bluntly. "How?" Obi-Wan said in surprise. "They stole the platform of Nebula, one of the systems that has joined the separatists." The Jedi and his padawan stood transfixed in the middle of the room. Finally Obi-Wan managed to say something. "Do we have any idea who they were?" he asked nervously. "Little is there to know. Know that little, we do." Said Yoda, obviously a little frustrated at being interrupted earlier. Obi-Wan stood patiently awaiting the master's response, but Anakin showed signs of agitation. Once again, Mace Windu began where Yoda had left off. "From the descriptions that the Senators were able to give us, we can conclude that there were four short people with curly hair, one tall man with bright blonde hair, another short man, only with an unkept beard, two more tall men with dirty faces, and one large man with a great gray beard and a 'Large spiffy hat.'" Obi-Wan froze, perhaps he hadn't been dreaming, perhaps that little driving accident with Anakin didn't make him crazy, perhaps the people that he saw on the landing platform were real.  
  
The Jedi Knight and his Padawan quickly made their way through the deserted corridor of the Jedi Temple. Obi-Wan was deep in thought about the nine mysterious people and he needed to meditate. His Padawan wanted to meditate, but about different issues. As they came into a small room that was dark and quiet, Obi-Wan and Anakin settled themselves on the floor and began their meditation. Obi-Wan couldn't make sense of it all, when he had seen those people, he hadn't felt any disturbance in the Force about them. They seemed as if…as if they didn't belong. But why didn't he sense this when he first saw them? He felt the Force grow strong around his Padawan. 'Good,' he thought, 'Anakin's finally learned to center in on what's important.' But the Jedi didn't probe his Padawan's thoughts because he was to deeply entranced in his own. Anakin was not thinking about the outsiders, they were the last thing that he cared about at the moment. He was trying to figure out some of life's major questions. Suddenly, without his control, words spilled from his mouth. "Master, if you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?" Obi-Wan looked up in surprise. "I…uh…" He didn't know the answer, but he wasn't about to let Anakin know that. "I thought you were meditating." He said calmly. "I was," said his Padawan. "But I can't focus, even with the help of the force!" "Relax, keep an open mind." Obi-Wan said. "But Master! If I have an open mind why don't my brains fall out?" Anakin replied, his eyes widening as if he had no control over what he was saying. Obi-Wan was taken aback. "You seemed to be filled with questions today." He said. "I, I don't know what's come over me." His Padawan replied. "Perhaps a short walk would ease your frustration." Obi-Wan suggested. Anakin nodded in agreement, glad for any excuse to get out of the Temple where he could feel people constantly watching him.  
  
Unfortunately, Anakin didn't know that they'd be walking through the halls of the Senate building. He felt more on edge here than he did at the Temple. Here there were more eyes watching him, some of them gave looks of approval, but others made their feelings clear by casting him dirty looks. Beside him, Obi-Wan could feel his Padawan growing tenser by the second. 'What could possibly make him this uneasy?' he thought to himself. 'Has he sensed something that I have not?' As if it was an answer to his question, nine figures came rushing down the hall at top speed. Anakin and Obi-Wan drew their lightsabers immediately and began to rum toward the approaching group. One of the members let out an ear-piercing shriek that echoed in the large hall. Obi-Wan and Anakin thought that they had lost their hearing as they turned to say something to the people. When their hearing returned, the intruders were running down the hall and heading for the turbo lift. Anakin, without thinking, started off after them. "Anakin!" Yelled Obi-Wan, surprised at the speed of his young apprentice but not surprised at his extreme predictability. "Never thinking about the consequences." He muttered softly as he began to run after his Padawan.  
  
When Obi-Wan finally reached the place where his Padawan was, he found that Anakin had things under control, for once. He had used the people's unfamiliarity of the building to his advantage and had them in a corner with his lightsaber fully drawn, the glowing blade pointed at them. Obi-Wan tried to hide a smile, he was impressed. "Well, we seem to have found the mystery men."  
  
~*~  
  
A/N: Ok, another short chapter. Sorry. I've been outta ideas for a while 'cause I'm brain dead. I had to work with little people all week. It was torture. The only cool part about it was that we got to do archery by ourselves when the little people weren't there! n.n I think we scared the little people…oh well. I'm gonna go to another camp, so I'm gonna be gone for two weeks. *Tear* I miss you already! Ok, well, mabye I don't, but oh well! I'll keep writing, but nothing will get posted for a while. Bye Bye! 


	4. Baby You Can Drive My Car

Star Warped  
  
A/N: Hi everybody! I'm back! (Well, I got back almost two weeks ago but fanfiction was down *tear*) Anyway, its almost 10 in the morning and there's no one around to disturb me so I figured that I'd write the next chapter. n.n Hold on, I need music.hmmmm what should I listen to...*goes to dig through CD's that are at my dad's house* Oh! I can listen to the Beatles! lol! Long story.O! I took my friend to see LOTR 'cause she hadn't seen it yet, and we had SO much fun! We ate one of those giant popcorn buckets! I mean ALL of it! Yummers. She was laughing SO hard at the beginning b/c the first shot of Frodo makes him look SO gay! lol! 'The Look' Grace! LOL! Ok, anyway, on to the disclaimer!  
  
Disclaimer: Ok, I'm gonna make this short and sweet! I own absolutely NONE of the characters! I only own my own little twisted plot line! Everything else belongs to George Lucas and J.R.R. Tolkien. (I just noticed something, if Tolkien was alive, he'd freak at all the nasty things that people put on the internet referring to Frodo and Sam's "special" relationship. *cough* Onespoof.com *cough*)  
  
Chapter 4- Baby You Can Dirve My Car!  
  
Anakin looked down at the nine frightened people. "Who are you?" His master Obi-Wan demanded. Anakin frowned, he hated the way that Obi-Wan never congratulated him and would do things himself without any help or input from Anakin. His attention was drawn back to the group as a man who look as if he hadn't had a bath in years stood up. "I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn and this is the Fe-" He was abruptly cut off by the hand of one of his companions, which was now placed over his mouth to prevent him from speaking. "Pardon my friend," the blonde man said. He was the same height as Anakin but somehow seemed to stand taller. Obi-Wan and Anakin exchanged a meaningful glance. They were both thinking the same thing; what could have made the tall man cover the other's mouth? "What he's trying to say is that we're lost" said the blonde man. "I'm am Legolas, prince of Mirkwood. That's Aragorn, Gimli, Boromir, Gandalf, and the four little ones are Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin." The other members of the group stared at Legolas in astonishment. He had just said the most words in a sentence that they'd ever heard him say. He looked very proud. Obi-Wan turned to his Padawan. "Anakin, we must take them to the Jedi Council for questioning." "Right" Anakin replied. "I'll get a car."  
  
A little while later, they were all safely strapped in a hover car and heading for the Jedi Temple. Anakin turned on the radio and looked back in the craft. "What kind of music do you like?" He asked. "Elvish" They all said. Anakin's brow furrowed. "Ummm, I'll put it on the next best thing." He started flipping through channels. "Anakin," Obi-Wan said, "I'm driving, so I get to choose!" "But you chose last time!" Anakin said. "So?" Anakin saw that this was a battle that he couldn't win with words. So Obi-Wan set it on the oldies station, as always, and Anakin slumped back in his seat. Obi-Wan grinned as one of his favorite songs came on, 'Baby you can drive my car.' Anakin shuddered, he knew what was coming, and soon enough, "Baby you can drive my car!" His master started belting it out in the middle of the traffic lane. "Yes I'm gonna be a star!" Anakin tried to make himself invisible as he slipped a pair of earplugs in his ears. "Baby you can drive my car! And Baby I love you!" Obi-Wan was still singing. Only it sounded nothing like singing to Anakin, it was closer to a mortally wounded cow and by the expressions of the other people in the car; they shared the opinion. "Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! YEA!"  
  
When the song finally ended, he was able to sit a little bit straighter in his seat, Obi-Wan could be so embarrassing sometimes! Suddenly a Anakin heard a small voice from the back of the car. "Sam, I've got to go wee!" it said. "Frodo's got to go wee!" Said another, gradually getting closer to the front of the car. "He's gotta go wee!" said another. "He's gotta go wee!" "He's gotta go wee!" "He's gotta go wee Aragorn!" "Legolas, he's gotta go wee!" "Gandalf, he's gotta go wee!" Suddenly he felt a tap on his shoulder and when he turned around he was face to face with the old man. "Frodo has to go wee" He said. Anakin was rather disturbed and he turned to his master. "Master Obi-Wan," he began. "Bum bum bum bum bum bum! Sail the ship!" Obi-Wan was still singing. "Master Obi-Wan!" He said a little louder. "Bum bum bum! Chop the tree!" Suddenly he stopped singing. "What?" he said. "One of the little people has to go wee." Anakin said, trying desperately to keep a straight face. Obi-Wan looked hard at Anakin, as if to make sure that this wasn't some kind of joke. "Well, we're almost to the Temple, he's gonna have to hold it." Anakin turned back to the old man, "I'm sorry, but we're almost to the Temple, he's gonna have to hold it!" The old man turned back to the blonde man, "Tell him he's gonna have to hold it." "Aragorn, he's gonna have to hold it." "Boromir, he's going to have to hold it." "Gimli, he's gonna have to hold it." The message spread through the car. "Merry, he's gonna have to hold it." "Pip, he's gonna have to hold it." "Sam, he's gonna have to hold it." "Sorry Mr. Frodo." Sam said. 'That's all right, I think I can hold it." Five minutes later Anakin heard the small voice again. "Sam, I've REALLY got to go wee!" "Master Frodo's REALLY got to go wee!" "Merry, Frodo's REALLY got to go wee!" Once again, the message was carried up to the front of the car. "Boromir, he's REALLY got to go wee!" "Aragorn, he's REALLY got to go wee!" "Legolas, he's REALLY got to go wee!" "Gandalf, he's REALLY got to go wee!" Once again, the old man tapped Anakin on the shoulder. "Excuse me, but he REALLY has to go wee." Anakin turned to his master once more, who was now approaching the parking lot of the Temple. "Excuse me master." "Not now Anakin! I'm trying to find a parking space!" he replied. "But Master, he's REALLY got to go wee!" "Look Anakin, we're almost there! He can wait five minutes while I find a place to park!" Anakin turned back to the old man once more. "We're going to find a place to park and then he can go wee" Once again, the word began to spread. "Aragorn, he's still got to wait." "Legolas, he's gonna have to hold it." "Boromir, he's gonna have to hold it." "Gimli, he's gonna have to hold it." "Merry, he's gonna have to hold it." "Pippin, he's gotta wait" "Sam, he's gotta hold it." "You're gonna have to hold it Mr. Frodo." Frodo started making little squeaking sounds kinda like the ones he make when he got stabbed by the Ringwraith. He's going cold!" Sam said. "Is he going to die?" Asked Pippin. "Sam, do you know the- wait a minute, haven't we already had this conversation?" They all stared at eachother for a moment before Frodo squeaked again. There was a yell from the front of the car. "We're here!" Shouted Obi-Wan. "Now, you can go wee!" he said. "Did you hear that Mr. Frodo? You can go wee!" Sam said. Frodo suddenly came out of his weird trance and smiled. He climbed out of the car and stood on the pavement. Then, without warning, he started twirling around in circles yelling "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" All the companions stared at Frodo and Obi-Wan and Anakin stood there with their jaws dropped. Perhaps they should have just said that they'd never found these crazy miscreants.  
  
~*~  
  
A/N: Ok, there's that chapter! Now its 11:37 and I'm DONE! YAY! My dad has to use the computer so I'm getting kicked off. *tear* Oh! Had this been an anime fic, everyone would have falled over when Frodo started yelling 'Wee!' Oh, and don't ask why I put that in there. Its an old gs skit and Amanda and I were thinking of putting that in one of my stories! I might even put in Lumi sticks! n.~ Oh yea! Go Lumi sticks! n.n Can you imagine Obi-Wan and Anakin sitting on the floor with two sticks singing "Make new friends! But keep the old! One is silver and the other's gold!" I can! (It's a gift) Ok, well you can go and read worth-while stories now. But please review this one! I really like writing this one! 


	5. I Spy

Star Warped  
  
A/N: Ok, it's the night before I leave for 'vacation' *cough* torture *cough* and I feel like writing. So, here goes, the last thing I write before I am subjected to almost a week of torture. HELP!  
  
Disclaimer: Ok, Once again, we see the same thing. I do not own any of the characters in this story. They belong to the immortal Lucas and Tolkien. Thank you very much! Right now, I own nothing except a few books and some NICE CRISPY BACON! (Long story.you really don't wanna know)  
  
Chapter 5- I Spy  
  
As they were being escorted through the vast halls of the Jedi Temple, Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin felt very small. Their captors weren't the nicest people on the world. When they landed in front of the building, the older one was angry about something called a 'parking meter' and how much gasoline prices had gone up. The hobbits as well as the rest of the Fellowship had no clue what these things were, but they sure made the man angry. They gathered from their trip over here that the older man's name was Obi-Wan and the younger one's was Anakin. After Frodo's little 'wee' incident, the two Jedi had been less than polite to them. "Walk faster!" Anakin ordered from behind Frodo. Sam turned around, "Hey! You can't tell Mr. Frodo what to do!" The young Jedi looked amused. "Oh really, and who's gonna stop me! Huh?" Aragorn stepped in front of Sam. "Sam," he said, "I've said this before and I'll say it again, You have a stout heart little one, but that will not save you." Sam looked downtrodden. "Think about it Sam!" Aragorn said. "These people have got weird lights that can cut you in two! We stood a better chance against the Ringwraiths! We just have to play along until I can figure out what's wrong! We're gonna be fine, and so is Frodo. Relax! See the sites! It's-Oof!" "Alright, enough with the sentimental shit." Anakin said, knocking Aragorn away. "Lets go, the sooner we get this done, the sooner I can eat lunch." Pippin brightened. "Did somebody say lunch?!?!?!?!?!"  
  
The group made their way through the Temple until the came to a room with several people seated inside. "Wait here," Obi-Wan instructed Anakin. Then, without a word, strode into the room, closing the door behind him. The words, "Greetings, Master Kenobi," were heard from inside by Frodo as he peered around Legolas to get a better look. He caught a brief glimpse of a small green figure sitting on a beanbag chair in the center of the room, and surprisingly, the figure looked shorter than him. He turned back to the other hobbits, totally oblivious to the conversation that had begun in the room. "Lets play a game!" he said playfully. "Ok!" the other hobbits agreed happily. "What should we play?" Asked Merry. "We will play I spy!" Exclaimed Frodo, clapping his hands together, his crystal blue eyes shining brightly. "And I will go first!" He paused, looking around for an object. "I spy, with my little eye, something.green!" The other hobbits looked around the hall puzzled. "Is it Legolas' tights?!" Said Pippin. Frodo shook his head. "No, its not Legolas' tights." Legolas looked down at them, "They're NOT tights!" He exclaimed. "They're 'leggings'." This statement sent the entire group on a laughing frenzy. "Oh! I know what's green!" said Merry through fits of laughter. "Aragorn's cape!" It was now Aragorn's turn to look angry, "It not a cape!" he protested. "It's a cloak!" Once again, the words sent the fellowship into an unstoppable fit of laughs.  
  
Anakin was getting worried; Obi-Wan had been in the chamber for a long time. What was he talking about that he didn't want to include Anakin in? Suddenly Sam burst out, "I know! Its Legolas' NIGHTIE!" Instead of inducing a roar of laughter, his statement did the exact opposite. The fellowship began casting looks from Sam and then to Legolas. Until finally, Frodo spoke, "Um, Sam, how would you know if Legolas has a green nightie?" he asked suspiciously. "I.uh.ummm, well," Suddenly Legolas gasped. "I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU WERE G-" Legolas was cut off mid-sentence by Anakin's hand. "We don't really want to know about that." He said, holing the elf's mouth shut. Legolas looked down at Anakin's hand, causing him to look cross-eyed. "Nice nails," Legolas mumbled. "What?" Anakin said, removing his hand. "I said, nice nails. Did you do them yourself?" Anakin smiled, "Oh of course not! Master Obi-Wan works wonders with nails! And by the look of you, you could use a manicure!" "How dare you!" Legolas said, fuming. "My nails are perfect!" "Ha!" Anakin laughed, "Not nearly as perfect as mine!" Legolas' eyes moved to Anakin's untidy hair. "Ha! You haven't brushed you hair today!" "Well," Anakin began. "I haven't had time to fix my hair because I've been chasing you everywhere!" Legolas laughed. "Every pretty boy makes time for their hair. You sir, are a disgrace to pretty people everywhere!" "And you," Anakin shot back, "You are a disgrace to HOT people everywhere! Mr. 'Oh look at me! I'm wearing extremely tight tights!' You disgust me!" At this point, the remaining members of the fellowship felt that it was better to observe from the sidelines because they knew what was coming. And sure enough, Legolas exploded. "THEY AREN'T TIGHTS! AND NO ONE INSULTS MY FASSION SENSE!" he screamed. "YOU'RE GONING DOWN!"  
  
Obi-Wan was rather disturbed when he emerged from the council's chamber to find his Padawan and the elf on the floor wrestling and pulling at each other's hair an clothing. Both of them were screaming obscenities in they're native language. He cast a fleeting glance on the people watching the fray. "Do I even want to know?" he asked. They all shook their heads no. "Anakin!" he said sternly, catching the attention of his apprentice. "Get up. Master Yoda is eager to speak with these nine people." Anakin got up and brushed himself off the best he could. "Yes master." Came the automatic reply.  
  
As they all entered into the chamber, Anakin immediately felt the inquisitive stares settle on him and his less than perfect appearance. It was silent for a long while before Aragorn opened his mouth to address the council. "Greetings, my name is Aragorn, and my companions and I would like to know where we are. Yoda stirred in his seat. "Answers we will provide, but first answer questions of ours, you must." Aragorn looked to Gandalf because he had no idea what the small creature had said to him. "He means that we have to answer some of their questions before they will answer ours." Said Gandalf. "Ooooooh." Aragorn said, suddenly comprehending. Mace Windu sat forward in his chair. "Tell us who you are and how you got here." He said. And so, Aragorn began to recount their entire journey leading up to the point where Gandalf had turned to face the Barlog on the bridge of Khazad Dum. "I can't quite explain how we got here." He said as he finished the tale. The last thing I remember was a blinding flash of light emitted from Gandalf's staff. Then boom, we were here." By this time, the sun had already begun to sink behind the endless buildings and the blackness of night was creeping into the streets of Coruscant. Yoda once again shifted in his seat. "Debate this matter no longer we will today. The light is gone from the sky and find shelter for these travelers, we must." He said. "They could stay in this building, then we could always be able to watch them." Mace suggested. He turned to Obi-Wan. "Obi-Wan, escort them to a free room, they will stay here tonight." Obi-Wan and Anakin bowed at the same time and turned to exit the room, motioning to the others to do the same.  
  
~*~  
  
And so ends another pointless chapter. Oh well! I had fun writing it. The best part was I got to listen to the LOTR soundtrack without any interruptions. (as it is 2:45 AM) I love the song 'The Breaking of the Fellowship.' In my opinion, it's the best song on the CD. I was scaring people on AIM though. Well anyway, I'm getting tired. R&R Please! I hope that you enjoy reading this story as much as I enjoy writing it! 


	6. A Hard Day's Night

Star Warped  
  
A/N: Whoo! I'm finally updating this one! Its been forever! But I've gotten the urge to write some more of this one! *cheers* Anyway, hmmm I'm still not very sure of where the plot is going, but I do know that this story will be drawing to a close soon. (Hey, it might end in a sudden really cheesy ending!!!! Or perhaps I'll leave room for a sequel!) *shrugs* Whatever I do, I'll do I guess! n.~ Anyway, on to the disclaimer!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, and if I did, I'd be freakin' rich!!!!!! n.~  
  
Chapter 6-A Hard Day's Night  
  
The members of the fellowship were escorted to two large apartment buildings where they were told to stay the night. Obi-Wan led them through several complex passages before coming to the place where they had intended on coming. Anakin and Legolas were still eyeing each other with suspicion, looking for a flaw that they could accuse the other of. The hobbits however were perfectly content with marveling at the large buildings that surrounded them. Suddenly Obi-Wan had stopped. They were standing in front of a large metal door, which Obi-Wan had opened with a wave of his hand. As he walked inside, he motioned for the others to do the same. Once inside, they were taken aback by the lofty ceilings and the general futuristic look of the place. "This was the best we could do on such short notice," Obi-Wan began, "If you need anything, we will be staying in the room directly across from this one." Aragorn nodded and then Obi-Wan and Anakin walked out of the room. "Make sure you lock the door!" Anakin said with a sly smile. "These parts can be a little bit dangerous!" Aragorn semi-smiled as they turned their backs. He then approached the door in attempt to close it. "Anyone know how to close the door?" They all shook their heads no. Aragorn sighed and called back towards Obi-Wan. "Excuse me, but how do you close this door?" In answer, Obi-Wan casually waved his hand and the door shut and locked with a small click. Aragorn turned back towards his companions, "Well, this certainly has been an interesting day!"  
  
As darkness crept back into the deep places of Coruscant, the members of the fellowship began to feel fatigued. "I'm sooooo tired!" Frodo moaned, rubbing his sore feet. The other hobbits nodded in agreement and also began rubbing their feet. Aragorn looked over at them, "What the- Why the heck are you rubbing your feet?!" he asked wide-eyed. Frodo looked up startled. "No reason!" he said quickly. Legolas stood to his feet, "I believe I shall retire, we pretty people need our beauty sleep!" he said, flipping his long blonde hair over his shoulder. Aragorn yawned, "That's a good idea Legolas, we should all get some sleep!" Legolas took no notice of Aragorn as he walked into another room and laid himself on the bed, testing its softness. Frodo wandered into the second bedroom and let himself fall face first upon the soft pillows. A moment later, Pippin made a running leap and landed on the bed where he proceeded to jump up and down upon. "Ahhhhhhhhhh! Help! Help! Help! I'm being attacked!" Frodo yelled. Sam sat up straight from where he had been relaxing on the couch. "I'll save you Mr. Frodo!" he called, running into the other room. Merry started blankly after him. "Oh bloody hell..." he muttered to himself before slowly rising to his feet and walking into the room where it had been unconsciously decided that the hobbits were to sleep.  
  
Gandalf, Boromir, Gimli, and Aragorn were left in the main room, flashing uneasy looks to one another. "Is anyone going to sleep in Legolas' room?" Aragorn shook his head. "If someone disturbs his beauty sleep, I have no doubt in my mind that they won't survive the night!" he said coldly. Boromir clapped his hands together, "Well!" he said, "it seems as if we're all stuck in this room! Better make the best of it!" At that point Boromir had already seated himself on the soft couch. "Hey!" Aragorn said. "Who said you got the couch!" Boromir smiled, "I was here first!" he said. "But...but! I'm the freakin' heir to the throne of Gondor! I GET THE COUCH!!!!" Aragorn said angrily. Boromir stuck out his tongue in response. "Why you insolent peasant!!!!" Aragorn yelled, charging forward and attempting to pull Boromir from the couch. Gimli cast a questioning look to Gandalf, "Do we dare interfere?" Gandalf pondered this for a moment as he watched Aragorn successfully pull Boromir halfway off the couch. "No, but hey, I'll bet ya ten bucks that Aragorn wins!" "You're on!" Gimli replied.  
  
As Gandalf and Gimli cheered from the sidelines, Aragorn and Boromir drew out their swords. "In the name of Gondor, I will protect what is mine!" Boromir shouted. "And I will win what should rightfully be mine!" Aragorn retorted. Gandalf looked to Gimli, "Want some popcorn?" he asked casually. "Sure!" Gimli replied, taking a small bag full of popcorn that had magically appeared in Gandalf's hands. The sound of swords clashing must have disturbed the hobbits from their slumber because they came stumbling out of their bedroom in a daze. "Who! What! When! Where! Why! How! Huh?" Pippin stammered. "Turn on the faucets!!!!!" Sam shouted. At this last comment, all motion in the room stopped and everyone looked at Sam. "What?" he said, looking up. Aragorn suddenly remembered the entire reason for his sword being in his hand. "I WILL THWART THEE!" he shouted, once more attacking Boromir fiercely with his sword. "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" Merry began chanting. "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" The other hobbits joined in. Soon, Gandalf and Gimli had lost all their dignity and were chanting along with the hobbits.  
  
Evidently they were being rather loud because underneath their endless chants and curses, the squeaking of an opening door could be heard. Aragorn aimed a kick at Boromir's shin and just as he was about to let his foot make contact, he noticed a figure standing in the hall, looking extremely angry. His jaw dropped when he realized who it was. "L-Legolas?" he stammered, still trying to take in the site that stood before him. There stood Legolas, dressed in a smooth flowing green robe, his blonde hair tied in the back of his head, and on his face was a green facemask over all except his mouth and eyes. A large frown had settled itself upon his usually emotionless lips. "A HA!" shouted Boromir, using Aragorn's distraction to his own advantage and stomping his foot upon Aragorn's foot. "AAAIIIIEEEEEE!!!!" Aragorn squealed in pain. Boromir laughed triumphantly, that is until his laughter was cut short when he found himself face to face with the point of Legolas' arrow. "Shut up..."he said, his voice deadly calm. Aragorn was still hoppin around the room, holding his foot, "ah! Oh! Eh! Ee! Ah!!!!!!!" Legolas was looked as if every second that he stood there he grew angrier. "I want everyone to GO TO SLEEP!!!!!!!" he screeched. "I REFUSE to be deprived of my BEAUTY SLEEP!" he said, breathing heavily. The rest of the fellowship began to shrink away from Legolas. The hobbits returned soundlessly to their own room and Gandalf and Gimli un- rolled blankets to sleep on the floor, but one question remained unanswered. "I call couch!" Aragorn said quickly. "Nu UH!" Boromir shouted. "I was here FIRST!" Legolas' eye twitched as he said, "I don't care who gets the couch, Boromir, you sleep on the floor tonight and Aragorn can sleep on the floor tomorrow!!!" Boromir cast Legolas a hateful glance. "Why does he get is first?!?!?!" "Because," continued Legolas, "the first letter of his name comes before yours in the alphabet! Now shut up so I can sleep!" he said, retreating back into his room and shutting the door with a slam. "Stupid git!" Boromir murmured as he tried to make himself comfortable on the cold floor.  
  
~*~  
  
A/N: Well! There you have it! The 6th chapter!! (finally!) I'm not sure what to do with the seventh, so be patient with me. Thanks for reading, and I'd really appreciate it if you'd click the little review button down there! n.~ Please no flames...thanks! 


	7. Don't push the Big Red Button!

Star Warped

A/N: Whoa…once again, sorry for the long wait!!! Well here we go…this should be the final chapter! Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing!!!! *huggles* Oh………and sorry about the cheesy ending…n.n

Disclaimer: Yall know the drill…don't own anything! So you can't sue me! muahahaha! 

Chapter 7- Don't Push the Big Red Button! 

The members of the fellowship were stirred the next morning by the sound and smell of food cooking. "Tomaotes…" Pippin muttered as he emerged from the other room. "Sausages…" said a sleepy Frodo. "Nice…crispy…bacon…" Merry murmured right before he walked into a wall. As it turned out, Sam had started a fire in the middle of the small kitchen and was busily cooking over it. 

Aragorn and Boromir, still angry about the scuffle the previous evening, came to sit by the fire as well. A little later, Gandalf and Gimli joined them and before long, all of them were singing camp songs. "Oh! I've got a good one!" squealed Aragorn. 

Stay on the sunny side always on the sunny side! 

Stay on the sunny side of life! 

Na na na na na na

You will feel no pain as we drive you all insane

So stay on the sunny side of life!

Knock knock! 

Who's there? 

Ester!

Ester who? 

ESTER BUNNY! 

HAHA! 

Stay on the sunny side always on the sunny side! 

Stay on the sunny side of life! 

Na na na na na na

You will feel no pain as we drive you all insane

So stay on the sunny side of life!

Knock knock! 

Who's there? 

Anatha! 

Anatha who? 

ANATHA ESTER BUNNY! 

HAHA! 

Stay on the sunny side always on the sunny side! 

Stay on the sunny side of life! 

Na na na na na na

You will feel no pain as we drive you all insane

So stay on the sunny side of life!

They're song was stopped abruptly however, by the entrance of Legolas into the room. He was still wearing his robe, only now his hair looked semi-normal and he had dark circles under his eyes. "Looks like someone hasn't put on their makeup today…" Sam whispered under his breath. Legolas shot him an icy stare. "Be silenced you fat zyzzyva!" "Zyzzyva?" Sam asked. Legolas shook his head and murmured something that sounded like, 'You should have read the bloopers when you had the chance…' 

Before any of them had time to comprehend what Legolas had just said, the two Jedi came bursting through the door with little mini fire extinguishers in their hands. 

"What the-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" cried Obi-Wan in dispair. He watched dumbfounded as Boromir hurriedly tried to shove the mini-ukulele he had been strumming into a pocket. "Having breakfast!" Pippin answered truthfully. Anakin was still standing in the doorway, staring at the elf. Suddenly, he burst out laughing. "Ahahahahahahahaha! I WIN!!!!!!!! I AM THE HOTTEST OF THEM ALL!!! BUAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!" 

Legolas' eyes filled with tears and he ran to the bathroom. Boromir rolled his eyes. "Not again!" Aragorn, on the other hand, ran to coax Legolas into coming out. 

Four hours later, the fellowship was in yet another transport ship with the two Jedi, heading toward the Jedi Temple. Legolas had refused to come out until he had fixed his hair and gotten rid of the circles under his eyes. Anakin, who was sitting off in a corner by himself was still wondering who Obi-Wan had pissed off to be stuck with a job like this. Jedi weren't supposed to be chaperones! …were they? 

Suddenly, the ship came to a slow stop and the fellowship plus Anakin and Obi-Wan exited. They walked quickly until they reached the room where the Jedi Council had assembled. To Obi-Wan's great surprise, there were also people there that he didn't recognize. Tall men in suits, black on the bottom and red on the top. They all had little com badges attached to their 'uniforms' as well. Yoda suddenly became aware of their presence and beckoned them forward into the center of the room. And so, the questioning began… 

About 10 minutes later…Pippin was bored. Not, 'I'm bored…so I'm just gonna keep standing here' bored, but 'I'm bored…I feel like messing with something' bored. So, while the others were still paying attention, he quickly slipped over to where the men in uniform were standing. He wasn't quite sure how it happened…but one of their little badges was on the floor, so, being the Took that he is, he snatched it up and crept back to the rest of the group. 

And it was then that he realized that if you pressed it, a voice could be heard from the other end. "Do you need to be beamed captain?" Said the little Scottish voice from the badge. Pippin stared at it and said softly, "Sure!" Suddenly, a bluish light surrounded all the members of the fellowship. And they dematerialized in front of the eyes of the stunned Jedi. 

_______

Suddenly, the fellowship was standing in the middle of the Bridge of Kazhad-Dum, facing a very dazed looking Balrog. Evidently, they had transported right back where they started. Before any of them had any time to think about what happened, Gandalf shouted "Over the bridge! FLY!" And they ran. 

~*End*~

A/N: Well…how'd yall like the incredibly cheesy end? Lol…well…now I can say that I finally finished something! YES! Well anyway…thanks so much for reading…really and honor…well…I'm out! 


End file.
